Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
