I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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