You made me cry and you don't even care
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
