Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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