Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
