Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
