He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
