Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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