remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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