I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
