i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Randomize
