Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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