The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
