all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
jump out the window naked night went bad
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
