If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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