but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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