the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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