this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
