I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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