Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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