I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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