How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
