Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
