Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
