I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
