I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
try to milk me bitch
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
