you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
