I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
