my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
honey bunches of taint.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
