Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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