I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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