im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The best revenge is premature balding
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
