awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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