Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
