TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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