just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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