What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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