; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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