Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
