sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is the high leading the old right now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
