But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
