I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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