return my video game
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
