Pants 0. Shit 1.
it hurts more in the daytime
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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