This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
