There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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