holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
