So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Randomize
