Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
