Having a random hookup so left but love u
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
